“We’re Not Your Accessories, Sis”: Black Women Are Over White Women’s Performative Allyship

Listen, we need to talk. Not in a “we’re gonna dance around the issue” kind of way, but in a “let’s lay it all out on the table and spill the tea” kind of way. Election after election, white women  have shown us a pattern, and it’s not cute. While Black women consistently show up at the polls —reliable, game-changing, and always on point—too many white women keep showing up like that friend who swears they’re in your corner but “accidentally” forgot to vote against your oppressor. Yeah, we see you.

Despite all the hashtags, pink “pussy hats,” and solidarity selfies, the numbers don’t lie. When it’s time to vote for real progress—the kind that protects Black lives and advances justice—white women often choose to uphold the systems of privilege and oppression that Black women have been fighting to dismantle. And you know what? We’re tired. 

Travel back to 2016, when 53% of white women voters decided to ride with Donald Trump, a man who turned racism, sexism, and xenophobia into a campaign strategy. And what happened in 2020? A majority of white women doubled down again. It’s giving “Willful Ignorance: The Remix.” All the while, Black women were doing our Black jobs—holding it down for democracy like always.

From Pink Hats to Blue Bracelets: The Performative Hits Keep Coming

Let’s get into this performative allyship thing because y’all love an accessory. Remember the Women’s March in 2017? Y’all were decked out in those pink pussy hats like it was Coachella for feminism. But when the cameras left and the real work began—like dismantling the systems that disproportionately harm Black women—those hats turned into dust. Fast forward to recent elections, and here come the blue “solidarity bracelets.” Like, sis, we don’t need you to accessorize; we need you to mobilize.

And then there’s the “I Voted” sticker pilgrimage to Susan B. Anthony’s grave. Chile, the irony. Susan B. Anthony was out here openly saying she wasn’t about that Black women’s suffrage life and y’all are out here decorating her tombstone like it’s a Pinterest board. It’s giving “white-centered feminism,” the sequel nobody asked for. While you’re busy romanticizing Anthony, Black women are out here trying to keep democracy from collapsing under the weight of voter suppression, gerrymandering, and your voting patterns.

Black Women: The Real MVPs of Democracy

Let’s be clear: Black women have been about this life since day one. During Reconstruction, we were advocating for civil rights even when we didn’t have the vote. In the civil rights movement, we were marching, organizing, and building coalitions while folks were still debating if we counted as fully human. And in every election since, we’ve been the backbone of progressive change.

We don’t just vote; we mobilize entire communities. We advocate for policies that protect everyone, not just ourselves. And we do it without needing a sticker, a bracelet, or a viral hashtag. Meanwhile, too many white women are stuck in a cycle of performative allyship that’s more about soothing their own guilt than making a difference.

It’s Time to Choose: Allyship or Apathy?

Look, allyship isn’t a costume you can take off when it gets uncomfortable. It’s not a “pink hat phase” or a trendy bracelet. It’s about doing the work, even when no one’s looking. It’s about reading books like Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall, Eloquent Rage by Dr. Brittney Cooper, or White Tears/Brown Scars by Ruby Hamad—and then putting those lessons into action. It’s about recognizing the feminism Susan B. Anthony represented was never built for Black women—and deciding to break that cycle.

True allyship means showing up with receipts. Did you challenge that problematic uncle at Thanksgiving? Did you vote for candidates who value equity over maintaining the status quo? Are you holding other white women accountable for their choices? Because if you’re not doing that, then don’t bother with the bracelet or the sticker.

Black Women Are Saving Ourselves

Last thing: Black women are done waiting. We’ve spent centuries carrying the weight of progress on our backs, and we’ve got receipts longer than ones you get from CVS. But now? We’re investing in ourselves. We’re building communities that center Black voices, Black needs, and Black joy. We’re prioritizing our own survival and thriving over performative alliances.

If white women want to join us, that’s great. But the change starts at the ballot box—not at a gravesite, not with a hat, and definitely not with a bracelet. As Issa Rae once said, “I’m rooting for everybody Black.” And that includes rooting for us to protect ourselves from the harm caused by folks who claim to be allies but vote otherwise.

So to our white sisters who truly want to stand with us: It’s time to make some hard choices. Your solidarity isn’t measured by your accessories or your attendance at a protest. It’s measured by your vote, your accountability, and your willingness to dismantle the systems that benefit you at our expense.

And if you’re not ready for that level of commitment? Well, don’t worry about us. Black women have always been—and will always be—our own superheroes. And honey, we’ve got capes for days.

Want to learn more? Start by reading Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall, White Tears/Brown Scars by Ruby Hamad, or Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde. Then ask yourself: What are you really doing for the movement? Because we’re out here saving democracy. What are you doing?